Remembering

While I was packing last night, I recalled my thoughts and feelings when my answers sheet to my last paper in USM was collected. The first sentence that came to my head was, "Shit. This is it."

My final ever paper as an undergraduate. I had no idea how I would feel. After exclaiming "Shit!" pretty loudly in my head, then the feeling of disbelief faded off. After that, it was just like any other day I've been going through for the pass 3 years.

As I packed, the disbelief came back, along with nolstagia and a little sadness.

Digging out all my old books and notes (which I have accumulated and refused to throw for 6 semesters) brought back loads of memories.

Actually, for the past few days, small little drawers of memories in my head kept unlocking themselves. Drawers of memories I've kept away and have forgotten about.

#1.

I packed as slow as I could. This might sound silly, but I was savouring the recalled moments. Every item I pack brought back precious lost memories to me. I found the handwritten notes I used to religiously do, the doodles on my notes and the random sentences I would write while not paying attention in class.

I also remembered all the morning classes I hate so much, the evening classes I miss (cause I overslept), the sleep-inducing lectures, the eye-candy lecturers, the amazingly hilarious laugh-die-me lecturers, lectures that got me thinking, lectures that totally made me not understand what the hell I am studying... aaah and so many more. Looking back, will I miss lectures? - maybe. LoL.

#2. School of Biological Science - from the route I always take =)

That very day, I walked through the usual route I use in campus, I know deep down that I will miss this place very much. This is probably the first time I've said this - I really love my campus. It is in this campus that some of my most memorable moments happened.

#3.

In this campus, I met lecturers who made me love what I am studying even more, they made me forget about how uncertain and unsure I was when I opted for the less popular major (Environmental Science).

I met individuals who are so special in their own way, whose stories inspired me and motivated me, whom I learned from.

It was in this campus that I learned how to live away from my family. I laughed, I cried and did things I never thought I ever would.

#4.

It is in every single thing we've touched - a pen, a book, that street we constantly walk on, another's life, someone's heart, that contains the memories of our lives. They hold the very happenings of your life, significant or not, that has made you who you are today.

So, when I walked in campus and packed, I came to this realization that 3 years of my life has come and gone.

To some 3 years is a long time, to some 3 years is short. To me, 3 years is just right. I would not have asked for any day less or more cause it is in these 3 years, some of the best moments and significant learning points happened. It is in these 3 years, I became me.

#5.

3 years ago, I had a dream of obtaining my Masters and Ph.D. But in these 3 years I learned something that made me change my dream.

I learned that humans, though not blessed with wings like a bird, can still soar as high as they want. The sky is not a limit. Limits are created by our fears and doubt. If we're able to put that aside, we can do amazing things.

Uncertainties, fear and doubt still exist in my life. In fact, now that I am graduating, these fears, doubts and uncertainties just became more intimidating. But at least now, I know I can have a bigger dream and that I can make it come true.

Without the 3 years of being an ungraduate, I would not have found that out.